


you're my first...

by simigang



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 96 line is an amazing friendship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Growing Up, Light Angst, M/M, Swimming, established relationship - junhoon, hehe, like a baby amount omg, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 21:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13396329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simigang/pseuds/simigang
Summary: When Wonwoo started swimming, he couldn't imagine his world would start to revolve around Soonyoung. He hates how the water doesn't feel the same without his very first...best friend, and he can't do anything to get him back.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> "prompt #142 : wonwoo is on the swim team, something soonyoung was not aware of when he took up the job of timekeeper for the season. how do you remember to control the stopwatch when wonwoo and his broad shoulders and traps are Right There? Bonus if there's Junhoon!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit. my dear prompter, if you're reading this, sorry that i'm so late! there was a lot of directions i could've taken this honestly (thank you for giving me so much freedom), but i decided to make it kind of complicated? i hope you don't mind me kind of going off base with <3 lmao pls enjoy!

Wonwoo’s life consisted of a routine. Wake up. Eat. Classes. Practice. Eat. Sleep.

 

It was like a never-ending, vicious cycle that had been slowly picking away at his motivation since he was twelve years old.

  
  


Things were a lot simpler when he was younger compared to now at twenty. You'd see a scrawny boy with arms a bit too long and feet too big, but an older man with a clipboard in his hand and a whistle around his neck saw something different. His  _ first  _ conversation with the coach that started it all is something he'd always remember. 

 

_ “Ya! You're gonna grow up to be a tall man one day. With the proper training, you'd be a fine athlete. I'd say you have potential. Do you know how to swim?”  _

  
  


He remembers all of his firsts whether he'd want to or not. They stuck inside his memory. The good ones he welcomed and the bad ones he tried to repress until they faded out and became lost in the labyrinth that was Wonwoo’s mind.

 

He could still think back to the first time he felt the chlorine tinted water against his skin. He could never forget the way it sloshed in his ears and choked him as he gasped for air. The chemicals still burns in his eyes when he thinks about it too hard.

 

Yes, he drowned as a kid. His cousin shoved him into the pool when he was five. It triggered an avoidance of all bodies of water from then on due to the overwhelming, irrational fear that the water would somehow suck him in and eat him alive. 

 

Like all coaches though, they don't know how to comprehend the answer _ no _ . Even when Wonwoo gripped his backpack straps on his bag extra hard out of stress and tripped on his words, the older man just eagerly shook his head at all of the excuses he heard; he didn't stop until he heard an  _ I don't know how to swim okay!   _

 

Twelve-year old Wonwoo didn't expect the smile he received, or the proposition to come watch their swim practice the next afternoon. 

 

His coach had no way of knowing that he'd be a full blown natural for the sport. Wonwoo had a knack for catching onto things easily which set him apart from other kids at school. His excelled in academics and was slowly, but surely building a foundation for athletics. He was a firm believer in practice though, and thought no skill could be mastered without it. 

 

By the way he stayed after to practice his push off the wall or to strengthen his freestyle form, it was evident he hated being a step behind the other boys. His coach noticed, little by little, the dramatic increase of skill and the way Wonwoo’s form flowed through the water. How he'd somehow, after months of training had already caught up to boys who had been swimming for years. 

 

He’d for sure keep an eye on him. 

  
  
  
  


Wonwoo definitely didn't know he'd fall in love with the sport when he'd been forcibly shoved into the pool and scarred for life. Probably not by his first swim practice, where he was shaking bones in skin, barely covered and all the more confused, and maybe not even by his first swim meet. The first time he'd felt true competitiveness overcome his body and felt adrenaline in his veins instead of the usual blood that flowed within them. The cheers of the strangers and his teammates, who he'd gotten closer to over the months of training, motivated him to overlook the  _ I can'ts  _ that have been haunting him, and turn them into  _ frick yeah I cans _ .

 

(Wonwoo and everyone else thought he was lucky to place at his first meet, but his coach saw that potential he'd seen from the very beginning. The skinny, nervous boy was no more, and instead stood a growing boy with a hint a muscle clutching a bronze medal around his neck trying not to smile.) 

  
  
  


Every single moment before had contributed to the downward spiral into the deep of abyss he liked to call his  _ “relationship  _ (more like love) _ for swimming” _ , but the memory that made him realize this sport is his life is still so clear in his head. 

 

Wonwoo lived up to his name as a born natural. A year after his first practice, he returned to the same chlorine pool to prove himself for the season. Now that he was on par with the boys his age, his goals only seemed to extend further. What was to stop him from dreaming so big? 

 

With his arms and legs pushing even harder than last season, he’d topped the podiums instead of settling for the third spot or not placing at all. His teammates started relying on him for help during extra practice. He remembers when his heart bounced in excitement at the fact that he'd be starting out first leg their medley relay. 

 

_ “Your backstroke is impressive Jeon. I need you on this relay.”  _ His coach’s words echoed in his head. Their final meet meant schools from all over the city were here to compete. 

 

Instead of focusing on the competition, he relied on his head to remind himself of the little mistakes he always makes to prevent him from making them today. He tried to keep his core tight to prevent his hips from sinking as he made his way back to his teammates after his turn. He heard the boys next to him slash harshly against the water, but tried to focus on the tiling on the indoor pool instead. Through his reflective goggles, he spotted the little flag on the ceiling to tell him he was near and gave in all his effort at the last few meters. 

 

Next thing he knew, he was pulling his goggles on top of his head to push his wet bangs out of his line of sight. He blinked a bit so his contacts could adjust, and smiled when he saw the outcome of his hard work. 

 

With his second teammate coming down the stretch, their school still held the lead that Wonwoo fought so hard to create. He couldn't help but cause a commotion with cheers and screams as each teammate of his finished their part. 

 

With their last swim left, free, he peered over to the school on their right. Their first leg was a decent amount behind Wonwoo, but their entire team as a whole had strength. As the clock ticked on, they were slowly closing the gap. He had so much faith in their teammates since they had wanted this District Championship trophy longer than he did. They'd been swimming for half of their lives while Wonwoo had just started. Right now, he felt as if he only had a fraction of compassion compared to them, but they were all in the same boat at this very moment. As they crossed their arms and bounced impatiently to see if they'd be able to bring that District Championship trophy home. 

 

As the unknown school’s swimmer hopped onto the platform playfully, Wonwoo wonders how he didn't notice him earlier. Even though most of them were sitting at the young age of thirteen or fourteen, they were all still relatively large for their age. Wonwoo himself had gained some height recently unlike this boy, who appeared to be inches shorter (and a little pudgy) than him with fading orange roots peeking from underneath his swimming cap. Even though he was about to dive in (his teammate was literally ten meters away from him), he still joked around with everyone without a care in the world. By his attitude and his body, Wonwoo figured he was just another harmless threat. There's no way his sch-

 

_ “There's no way in hell- _ ” Wonwoo would've covered his mouth and hoped his mother couldn't sense him cursing this small, but incredibly quick swimmer to hell at this very moment. Key word  _ would've _ , but he couldn't by the way his mouth hung open in shock. 

 

As seconds ticked by, whoever this kid was chased the gap between their school and his own to eventually close it. He kept his form tight and kicked his legs like jets to propel him down the stretch all while alternating his breathing, flawlessly, from the left to the right. Even when his own teammate was right next to the mystery boy, he wouldn't dare take his eyes off of him. His every move engraved itself into Wonwoo’s memory. The final push towards the last couple meters. The way he instantly turned to his teammates with a joyful smile like he already  _ knew _ they'd won. 

 

There's no way he'd forget him. The boy with the orange hair and looked, in no way, to be a swimmer. How could he have beat them? Wonwoo couldn’t block the flood of doubt and questions coming into his head as they stood on the podium. Around their necks were  _ silver  _ medals as they finished second for the medley relay, but Wonwoo couldn't rejoice in happiness like the rest of his friends. As envious and greedy as it sounded, he wanted first. This  _ silver  _ medal wouldn't go with the rest of the gold he'd gotten this year. 

 

“Hey Wonwoo! Cheer up. We still got a trophy!” His smiley teammate hugged him and showed off their large trophy which looked identical to the other schools who had placed. Except theirs was a shiny, plastic  _ silver _ . 

 

He glanced over to the school who'd gotten first. Everyone was now dried off and changed into their warm-up sweats with their backpacks on. At this angle, Wonwoo could clearly see  _ his  _ face. He seemed overly smiley with the three gold medals dangling around his neck. They caught the sun’s light, which shone through the skylights of the swim center, and reflected back into his direction at the boy’s slightest movements. 

 

Wonwoo didn't realize he was staring until a certain pair of eyes caught his. It's like he recognized Wonwoo somehow (even though he was certain this was their first meet together) and smiled even wider. His eyes disappeared into the depths of his face because his cheeks took up 90% of his face. A small hand,  _ his _ hand, came into Wonwoo’s line of sight. The boy had waved shyly. 

  
  


Wonwoo just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

  
  
  


When he turned away from the boy with his hands stuffed into his pockets, he didn't see the way the boy's face fell. His cheeks were no longer upturned into a smile and his hand was no longer out waving and reaching for friendship. Instead, he felt confusion. He tried to wrack his brain as to why this random boy would have some type of grudge towards him, but he came up with nothing. 

  
  


Wonwoo was on his way home when his mom grew concerned about the frown on his face. He couldn't rid the image of the orange haired boy, who was some amazing prodigy. He broke the  _ freaking   _ freestyle district record in the 50 meter. 

  
  


“Aish. It's one  _ silver  _ medal. By the way you're acting, you needed some type of loss. There will always be someone out there who aren’t as skilled as you, and someone light years ahead in terms of it. That should just motivate you to become better. I'm already so proud of you.” His mother peered at his fondly from the driver’s seat. He knew if he'd met her gaze, he'd for sure soften up completely. Instead, he let himself sulk a bit while peering down at his medals he earned today. 

 

It was sad how he was dealing with this “defeat”. His thirteen year old ego seemed to be suffering the most as he questioned how good he truly was. His mother’s reassurement warmed his heart and eventually spread to his thoughts. 

  
  


With his forehead pressed up against the window, he was already thinking about how to improve for next season. The thought of high school scared him, but he remembered his mother’s words. If he keeps working as hard as he has been and stays humble, no “loss”, great or small, can ever affect him again. 

 

Next time, he didn't know when it would be, he'd be on par with  _ that _ kid. He hated to admit it, but his heart raced at the thought of ever going directly against him. 

  
  


Unknowingly, Wonwoo had fallen for swimming. His life started to revolve around the sport. From then on, he set aside even more time to practice harder. He still focused on his studies, but swimming seemed to overpower the usual desire to sit down and read a book unlike how it had been in the past. And it all had to do with that boy with the orange hair, chubby cheeks, and big smile. Wonwoo’s heart was set on kicking his ass. 

  
  


For his firsts, the most memorable had to be his first loss… his first rival, and first best friend. 

  
  


☔️

  
  


High school, at least for Wonwoo, wasn't all it was hyped up to be. He remembers the past members of his school swim team coming back to visit. They often bragged about being able to swim for a  _ High School _ when many others hadn't made the team to begin with. From Wonwoo’s perspective then, it didn't seem to be a big change except for more people to pass by in the hallway. 

 

On his first day, he was proven right as he got ran over multiple times by random kids bustling around in the hallway. He wondered if they were supposed to be four or fourteen as he glared at anyone who drew near him after being hit so many times. 

 

He seemed to breeze through his classes as they were just introductions on the first day. He made sure to be attentive and not miss a single detail just in case something important was mentioned. Even while writing notes on what to bring for his maths class, he couldn't help but let his mind drift back to swimming. 

 

His arm nervously reached across his body to take ahold of the other. An anxious habit of his. 

 

This wasn't last year where his Coach had put blind faith in him from the beginning. Where he automatically made the team because they needed swimmers. This is High School. A step up in competitive nature and everything more. There were more boys who were willing to compete. More boys who could possibly have a higher skill level than him. More boys who could take his spot if he even made it on the team. 

 

Even though half of his head was filled with doubts, he tried to focus on the positives. He'd been practicing all summer, swimming back and forth at the nearest competitive pool he could find. He knows he has the technique. He knows he is capable.

 

“Hello, I'm Jeon Wonwoo. I'll be in your care.” He introduced himself to the Head Coach and Assistant. He, along with twenty other boys or so, were trying out right now even though practices usually start in the beginning of August. Currently, it was the end of that very month, or the beginning of the school year, and they all had some excuse as to why they couldn't make it to the first tryout. 

 

In Wonwoo’s defense, visiting his grandmother for a month was way more important. 

  
  
  
  


After a brief introduction, the coaches got the boys stretched and ready. With a nod, Wonwoo tried to prepare himself as to what was coming. 

  
  
  


Unlike Middle School, where they'd focus more on if you knew the technique, these coaches liked to see speed as well. They seemed to be set out to doing a time trial for every single event at the rate they were making the boys swim consecutively. Wonwoo was glad he trained over the summer and seemed to be in good shape as some other boys were dying out on their time trials while throwing form to the wind. 

  
  


Towards the end, the swim team members seemed to be coming out to get ready for practice, but the boys trying out didn't seem to be phased, or didn't notice, and they were drinking water as fast as they could before the last event. 

 

“We’re going to have ourselves a little relay.” The coach said while looking over at their clipboards. They were probably looking at the specific number which identified them during this tryout. 

 

“It's a short 4x50m Freestyle relay. Just in case you don't speak swimming, everyone will swim one hundred meters in Freestyle form. Have fun choosing your teams.” The coach said firmly. Everyone was grouping together for the most part, but Wonwoo didn't move. He didn't really know anyone here and hadn't been watching to see who's fast or not. Most of his friends went to a different high school anyway. 

 

He did get thrown into a group with all the stragglers and most were out of breath from the intense work they'd been doing so far. 

 

“Has anyone been in a relay before?” One boy said which sparked the conversation. Wonwoo nodded his head while the other two shook theirs nervously. 

 

“Well one of you should go first just in case you take off too early before the other person gets there. Don't worry about getting a good lead, just swim as fast as you can.” Wonwoo said to the smaller boy who looked really worn out and nervous. Instead of looking up to Wonwoo, he found his feet more interesting instead, but he did nod slowly. 

 

“I can go last. I like swimming Free.” The boy who talked first said. Wonwoo smiled at him in relief. Freestyle was probably his least favorite style, but he didn't mind it for a short period like a relay or 25 meters.

  
  


Once they had their legs established, the other shy boy going second and Wonwoo third, they assembled into a line and their first leg heaved himself onto the start block. 

 

It took everything from Wonwoo not to cringe at his start as it looked to be like he just threw himself off. His legs were spread and his body curved which made him land into the water with a  _ plop. _ The other four teams seemed to be off to just as bad as a start or the boy was actually good at Freestyle. Wonwoo couldn't tell. As their second leg dove in, the pace started to change. A couple of teams started to edge out in the front while theirs still struggled to keep up. 

 

Before their second leg was at the turn and Wonwoo was about to go onto the platform, he felt himself get pulled aside. 

 

“Hey. You look like a really good, and I tried to be confident earlier, but I'm getting nervous man. Do you think we could trade spots?” The boy who “loved freestyle” looked terrified as he pleaded with Wonwoo. Even though this was an individual tryout, a relay was a team effort. He did nothing more than push the boy towards the platform as their second leg made his way back. Wonwoo grew nervous when other teams were already diving back into the water. He'd probably be going up against the fastest boys as anchor, but he just had to believe he could do it. 

 

_ “Fuck yeah I can do this.”  _  He repeated in his head like a mantra. By now, the swim team boys made their presence known as they cheered for various teams. Wonwoo used their energy to hype himself up as he finally,  _ finally _ took off into the water. He'd practice Freestyle a little bit, but it's common to avoid something you don't want to face. It's his worst swim style, but he'd do his best for his team. He kicked his feet as fast as he could so he could push himself down the straight and tried to control his arms. At the turn, when he felt the fatigue of today weighing on him like lead, he tried to focus on his breathing instead, the positive thinking, and the want—the  _ need _ to make this team to prove to himself that his swimming skills are capable.

  
  


As his palm pushed on the wall, his head bopped up to see just where they finished. With everyone still trying to catch up to him at the finish line, he almost screamed out in victory. It felt good to win, and even better when the boys he swam with praised him endlessly about passing four other guys. 

 

“Okay. Thank you so much for trying out for our swim team. Sadly, not all of you will make it today. Our team is quite full as you can see.” The assistant coach tilted her head to the rowdy group of boys that were playing around on the bleachers. 

 

“We’ll have the results after their swim practice since Coach and I will have to deliberate quite a bit on this. You can stick around or find out tomorrow.” She announced before the pair vacated back to their office. The boys all passed the team members and that's when Wonwoo’s neck almost broke. 

 

He almost didn't recognize, but it is most definitely  _ him. _ Orange haired, or he should now call him blue haired boy was in the crowd of members. His hair was electric blue, but that wasn't what made him so unfamiliar. His cheeks were gone. All of the extra chubbiness that Wonwoo had seen the first time had now shed and left a slim boy. He'd grown just a bit too, but still shorter than Wonwoo. 

  
  


As he found his stuff and took it to the changing room, his mind couldn't shake off the fact that  _ he  _ went to his school now. He didn't even know they lived so close to begin with. Maybe this is the Gods answering Wonwoo’s prayers on being able to swim against him, but this is far from what he meant. 

 

The unexpected turn of events set of a weird feeling in his stomach that felt like a hybrid of nerves and anger and confusion. This is probably just some grand coincidence. Even if they're on the same team, it doesn't mean they need to interact with each other. Wonwoo wanted to beat him not be his friend. 

 

Not realizing how lost in his thoughts he became, he was left alone in the locker room. Everyone was already showered and changed leaving him to be the only one left. He hurried to join everyone else in the bleachers once he was out. Since he was alone, he tended to eavesdrop on others conversations. While munching on his sandwich he packed this morning, he heard many sigh in relief at the fact that the long process was over, but many were also nervous. Space was limited now which meant about one-fifth of them were actually going to make it on the team. A tiny flicker of nerves elicited in Wonwoo’s stomach, but he instantly crushed it with more food. He'd surely make it right? He'd be fine. 

  
  


“Thank you to those who waited. We only had four available spots on the team, and it was a lot of back and forth between coach and I, but we feel as if we picked the best for our team.” The head coach started out. He tried to do this quickly as he'd just released the swim team boys to go change out. 

 

“When I call your name, please stay after. To everyone else, thank you for trying out again.” 

  
  


Wonwoo’s heart beat in anxiousness and the man called out the names slowly so everyone could hear. After the third name was called out, he has started to lose hope. He could always join an out-of-school club and just get fas-

 

“Jeon Wonwoo.”

 

_ “Oh thank God.” _ He yelled in his head as he stepped forward to join the other three boys who were wearing a wide range of emotions. One looked super excited as he jumped around a smiled, one just seemed calm like he expected this, and one looked… scared and intimidated by this whole thing. Wonwoo groaned at the thought of having to meet new teammates all over again. He always seemed to be the new kid. 

 

“The boys should be coming out, so we will introduce you real quick and then you can finally go home. I know you're tired.” The assistant said while all four boys nodded in agreement. Wonwoo knew his limbs would be achy tomorrow, and he'd still have to commute to practice and school. The thought made him want to cry a little bit. 

  
  


One by one, the boys started to make their way out of the locker room. The four had been told they would be assigned a locker sometime tomorrow along with all the school issued swim gear like warm-up sweats, a backpack, and some type of robe jacket thing that was supposed to act like a towel that Wonwoo had never seen before. 

 

_ He  _ was easy to spot as people were always flocking around him. His hair was annoyingly bright in a way that made Wonwoo wish he was bald just so it could stop flouncing around on his head. 

 

“Hey! Gather around so you can meet your new teammates.” Coach demanded which made everyone flock to him immediately. When it came for his turn for an introduction, and slightly bowed his head in respect. 

 

“My name is Jeon Wonwoo and I'm a freshman. My favorite swim in backstroke.” He attempted to smile at everyone and hope it didn't come out creepy. They nodded back and the Captain, a super tall and buff senior, introduced himself. He said something about this team having a lot of potential with a bunch of underclassmen, but Wonwoo wasn't really listening because blue haired boy was looking at him smugly with his hands in his jacket pockets like he knew something. 

 

As the coach released the members, he made sure to remind them starting next week their practices would be 6:30am in the morning now that they had to share the pool with divers. Everyone groaned and went on their merry ways. 

  
  
  
  
  


It wasn't until halfway through the season, when they'd already completed five of their meets and the weather was starting to turn cold, that  _ he  _ finally said something to Wonwoo. 

 

“You know, if you have a problem with someone, you should just say it.” His tone was nice, but there was venom in his words. It was currently 7am on a Thursday morning. Wonwoo was taken completely off guard. For almost a month, they seemed to be playing some kind of staring contest to see who will blink and approach the other first. Wonwoo kind of hoped this wouldn't happen since he has no justified reason to hate Soonyoung except for the fact that he's good. But that doesn't mean he isn't getting there himself. 

 

“I don't have a problem with you.” Wonwoo said simply as he reached for his toes to increase his flexibility. Suddenly, the boy was on his back and pushing him down further. To most, it would seem like a friendly teammate helping another out, but the way Wonwoo hissed and gripped at the mat underneath him told otherwise. 

 

“Oh really? Is that why you've been staring at me like you wanted to kill me for an entire month?” He applied more pressure which made Wonwoo curse out.

 

“Watch your language Jeon.” Their captain called out to the two of them. 

 

“Maybe I just don't like you. You are pretty loud and annoying.” Whispered Wonwoo and he know he heard him when he was shoved down even further. 

 

“Stop lying. Tell me or you'll be kissing the floor pretty soon.” He threatened which flared Wonwoo’s temper more.

 

“It's the  _ fucking _ truth. How much do you want to bet?” As soon as the chance for a wager was out in the air, the blue haired boy lifted all his weight off of him and backed away to think. His eyes drifted to the pool and an idea landed in his head. 

 

“I'll bet 25 meters worth. How about that? If I win you tell me why you keep glaring at me like a damn five year old and if you win, then I'll leave you alone. Good deal?” He suggested. Wonwoo was more than down with that. He still wanted to beat him, and maybe this was his chance. To put him in his place would be amazing just like he did to him. 

 

“Captain, what swim style?” The blue haired boy tossed him a stopwatch and he looked confused at the pair who were taking off their clothes they just put on after practice ended. 

 

“For what? What are you guys doing?” He seemed worried and scanned the area for their two coaches. 

 

“Just pick one please?” Wonwoo watched his blue hair bounce up and down as he grabbed the captain’s hands. Either the senior is softer than he makes himself out to be, or he really likes him. 

 

“Butterfly? I don't know! That still didn't answer my question of what's going on Soonyoung.” He stressed to blue haired boy, or Soonyoung, as Wonwoo was learning. He heard that name shouted out many times before but he didn't really connect the dots himself. 

 

“Thanks man. Use that timer to time us. Tell us who wins because all our pride is on the line. Oh! Can you start us too?” Soonyoung rushed over to the starting block and Wonwoo soon followed after giving the captain a sheepish smile to ease his confusion. 

 

The two were side by side in lanes four and five while their other teammates just witnessed their childishness. Wonwoo swore he heard someone mutter  _ “fucking freshman.” _

 

“On your mark.” The captain raised his hand which was free of the stopwatch. It was a mystery as to why since both boys should be looking downward instead. Soonyoung glanced at Wonwoo quickly with a smile on his face.

 

“Set.” They raised into their starting positions and Wonwoo took a brief look at Soonyoung before going back down. 

 

“Go!”

  
  
  
  
  


“I refuse to believe it was a tie.” Soonyoung complained as they all changed into their school clothes. Wonwoo wondered how he could be so energetic in the mornings. 

 

“Well it was, so accept it. Everyone saw it not just me. You can ask.” The captain said getting annoyed at the fact that Soonyoung wasn't letting this go. As Wonwoo put his shoes on, he thought of an idea though. 

 

“What about a compromise?” He suggested. It hung in the air for a minute. Even though the rest of their teammates had no idea what was going on, they still listened in. 

 

“What do you have to offer?” Soonyoung asked skeptically as if he didn't trust Wonwoo. 

 

“How about I tell you, but then you can't bother me after that?” 

 

“So you admit there was an actual reason as to why you hate me! Wow, I'm so fucking good.” Soonyoung patted himself on the back mentally and balled his fist in victory.

 

“Language Soonyoung.” The captain said in the distance. 

 

“I don't hate you I already said that. This is just my face, but… I guess I have been a little rude.” Wonwoo openly confessing and owning up to his actions wasn't one of his strong suits. Looking back on his mistakes made him feel stupid for ever doing them in the first place. 

 

“A little? Understatement of the century honestly! Every time I try to say hi to you, you just ignore me. I bet you didn't know we had the same History class.” 

 

That blue hair is an eye catching disease that Wonwoo wishes he didn't have to see, but he did see it. Everyday. Twice a day. 

 

“Why do I need to talk to you? We aren't even friends!” The two decided to take their conversation out of the locker room now that they were fully dressed and started walking towards the school’s courtyard. 

 

“Maybe I wanted to be…” Soonyoung sounded defeated and a little tired.

 

“Whatever, this is fucking stupid. See you around Wonwoo.” He started to walk faster than the pace they'd already established and Wonwoo couldn't stop his legs from chasing after him not a minute later. He thought he knew what he wanted, but seeing Soonyoung hurt because of him didn’t sit right. 

 

“Wait! Soonyoung! I'm sorry! That came out weird I guess.” Once he caught up to him he scratched the back of his neck nervously. They hadn't stood this close before, but Wonwoo could see the features of his face closely. He could see the sadness reflected in his eyes and the conflicting emotions swirling around in them.

 

“I don't have a lot of friends and I never have. I'm not used to people trying to approach me and stuff… so sorry if what I said offended you.” Wonwoo started out. He seemed a little shaky as he decided whether or not to reveal the whole truth. 

 

Good friendships don't start on lies right? 

 

“Last year, the first time I saw you, you were totally amazing. More amazing than you are now as a swimmer. Up until that point I’d basically won everything all season, but out of nowhere, you helped your school take the gold away from us when we had the lead the whole time. It's no reason to act like a total asshole to you, but I just, I don't know, wanted to compete together. Even if I show it in the worst way.” Wonwoo was hinting at embarrassment by the way his cheeks were tinted pink. Instead of looking at Soonyoung, who he could feel was staring at him, he found an autumn tree quite beautiful in the distance. As he confessed some of those things himself, he never realized his true intentions. He's always wanted to swim against such an amazing swimmer like Soonyoung, and he's had the opportunity all this time. Being on the same team seemed to be a good thing at the end of the day. 

  
  


“Oh, um, thanks.” It was rare for Soonyoung to be lost for words at any time of day. When Wonwoo finally looked at him, he knew why. His cheeks were so red a tomato would be put to shame. Wonwoo looked at him in curiosity and stepped away. 

 

“Sorry no one has ever told me they admired me so much! This is a natural reaction. You just have no emotions.” He caught up to Wonwoo who was heading to the cafeteria for breakfast. It might be awkward at first, but Wonwoo prayed they've overcome the feeling to be friends. He didn't lie, he's never really had a close friend before, so to have Soonyoung close to him makes him excited for what's to come for swimming and high school. 

  
  


☁️

  
  


Wonwoo and Soonyoung came to find out they were almost polar opposites. Wonwoo, on one hand, like studying, getting good grades, hated dancing or going out, and instead liked staying in and watching scary movies. Soonyoung was a little bit of a lazy student, talked a lot, and loved going out on the weekends. Somehow, they made their friendship work. Everyone on the swim team knew of them as the two peas in a pod or basically inseparable friends because they were always spotted together. 

 

One of the only things they had in common is that they both liked swimming and they were starting to get really good at it. Their skill levels seemed to be within a fraction of each other's, so they learned they'd basically be competing for the rest of high school with each other. They thought they'd catch a break sophomore year (they don't even compete in the same swimming events), but the coaches had different plans. With too many Freestyle swimmers, everyone had to get mixed up a bit. Again that season, they were racing to see who'd improved over last year just for it to end in a tie. The coaches just  _ had _ to put them against each other.

 

Soonyoung remembers a past teammate saying,  _ “whenever they're in the water together, they get their best times.”  _ With every passing day, he felt his reliance on Wonwoo grow, not just as a friend, but as a swimmer too. If he were the only one who was able to get this reaction out of Soonyoung, then what's going to happen when he goes off to college and Wonwoo isn't there to push him? Thinking about the future so much scared him as he was still lost on what he wanted to do with his. 

  
  
  


The two best friends didn't truly realize how much they were competing until their junior year of high school. People call it the most valuable, but Soonyoung liked to say it was the most bullshit. Why should he be given double the amount of work when he already has enough stress from everything else in his life? 

 

“I'm missing practice on Friday.” Wonwoo said while he was buried neck deep in homework as they both sat in his room. If Soonyoung had it bad, Wonwoo always seemed to have it worse, but he was handling it a lot better than the elder. 

 

“Why? That's not a very captain-like thing to go and do.” Soonyoung playful scolded which made Wonwoo throw a highlighter at his head. Soonyoung barely dodged it, and looked like an idiot trying to.

 

“I know, that's why there's two of us. My mom’s  making me do college visits or whatever. I'll be gone the entire weekend though.” Wonwoo said simply as he read through his text book. 

 

“Mm.” Soonyoung tensed at the mention of college and just the future in general. At the rate this is going, they'll probably have one of those talks again about-

 

“You have to make a decision on what college soon. A lot of freshmen go through major changes, but at least choose a school.” Wonwoo sighed and looked at Soonyoung who was a bit annoyed. Does he think he hasn't thought about this already?

 

“I have been thinking about it. It's all just coming up on us so fast. I remember when we were little freshman racing in the pool. Now, we’re probably going to be competing for a scholarship because of this college bullshit. That's what I call a true race of friendship honestly.” Soonyoung said sarcastically while laying down on Wonwoo’s bed looking directly to the ceiling. When he came down to lay next to him, Soonyoung turned to face the wall due to the many emotions he was feeling. 

 

The thing about Wonwoo is, he just says what he needs to, and then that's it. He didn’t pry to find out how he was feeling. It has taken a lot from Soonyoung just to voice all his feelings because Wonwoo never asks, yet he's always concerned.

 

“I'm just kind of scared of growing up. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life. The only facts I know are I love swimming and that you're my best friend. All of that can disappear after High School. I don't want it to go away. Even though everything says we aren't supposed to be friends, we still are and I'm not ready to live life without you.” Soonyoung didn't realize how sappy the words were until they were floating around the atomposhere, but he wouldn't take them back. It was true. Wonwoo just rested a hand on his back and rubbed in soothing circles. Anything he would say would probably make things worse, and it's not like they could change reality. 

 

They were growing up, and if they wanted to swim in college, one of them was going to have to beat the other sometime soon. Their coaches stressed to them that a swimming scholarship was a rare sight at their school, and if they keep pushing their times down, one of them might just get it. 

 

That could possibly mean leave the other behind, and neither of them wanted that. 

  
  
  
  
  


Like their junior year, their senior year was all the same. They were still captains of their team, but now fully respected in a weird way. Word had gotten around about two super good swimmers in this school’s program apparently, so none of their underclassmen wanted to piss them off. Soonyoung’s hair was still blue, and Wonwoo was still taller. Even if they'd both grown, he was still the taller of the two, but Soonyoung held much more muscle. 

 

Towards the end of the season though, Soonyoung got one terrifying call and had to make one himself. Wonwoo doesn't really remember how the conversation went, but as soon as he answered the phone, Soonyoung screamed: _ “I got it! I got the scholarship!”  _

 

The hard work for the past five years felt like it was crumbling beneath Wonwoo. From the beginning, Soonyoung was ahead of him, so he should've saw it coming right? 

 

Doesn't make it hurt any less though. 

 

He tried his hardest to put his own feelings aside to congratulate his friend who he'd know would be talking about this for weeks. Wonwoo didn't blame him. It was almost a full-ride scholarship to a fancy, top of the line university known for its swimming. He could think about the mental preparation later, but then he tried to focus on how happy Soonyoung is. Maybe he could, one day, feel that happiness too. 

  
  
  


After their last medley relay, last (high school) gold medal, last Homecoming dance, last set of midterms, Wonwoo got a call from his, now old, coach. It was around April. He had already figured out a long time ago what his plan of action would be if he couldn't swim collegically. He'd always have his grades to rely on, and with his major test scores, he was able to score a state university with a partial scholarship. 

 

_ “They're paying for three-fourths of your fucking college education just because you're a damn genius.”  _ Soonyoung's voice rang in his head.

 

Okay, maybe a little more than partial, but he knew what his future was now he wasn't swimming. He would stick to the same plan as he’d formed since he was young, major in either English literature and decide if he wanted to pick Creative Writing or English Education or something in Biology (Soonyoung laughed when he heard all of this for the record.) So why was his old coach dragging him back to the pool? To talk about the good ole times? Unlikely. 

 

He stopped questioning it and just drove. 

  
  


“Hi. Wonwoo, this is the coach I've been telling you about. He runs the swimming program at the smaller school remember?” Wonwoo’s memory is impeccable and doesn’t recall ever discussing a college coach. He’s shocked at the fact that he's shaking hands with the man right now, but he doesn’t let it show.  He just goes with the flow. 

 

“I know you're a well put-together kid as your former coach tells me, so you probably already have your college picked out with the major and everything.” The older man refers to his High School coach and Wonwoo just nods, still really confused as to what he's doing here. 

 

“But I still have openings left on my team, and I feel like you'd really thrive at our school. It's not a fancy, huge university, but we are a branch off of a bigger university, so it's still popular among instate students. I really hope you consider my offer and give me a call so we can officially talk out details.” The man gave Wonwoo his card and shook his hand firmly. On his way back home all he could think about was 

 

_ “I'll be able to swim again.”  _ Wonwoo couldn't help the smile that grew onto his face. 

  
  


When he tried to call Soonyoung and tell him the good news, he went straight to voicemail instead. Wonwoo brushed it off since his friend was at the Hospital for some kind of check-up he told him, so he was probably still there. Wonwoo couldn't help but scream out in happiness and shake his parents with a hug when they both got home. His little brother didn't miss out from a hug even if he had to chase him around to get it. All he wanted was to talk to his best friend, but still no answer. 

 

_ “I guess it could wait until Monday.”  _

  
  
  


Soonyoung was the biggest fan about Wonwoo’s  _ everything _ . When Wonwoo finally got around to telling him the good news of getting a full ride swimming scholarship (thanks to his good academics), he couldn't help but squeeze the life out of him. Even if it was in front of the entire cafeteria. That whole charade seemed distant now as he tried to hold back his tears at their Graduation. 

 

“You look good. I'm not gonna lie Jeon.” He complimented Wonwoo who looked as handsome as ever in his graduation cap and gown. They were holding their diplomas in their hands as they faced each other. Their parents were yelling at them to face their direction for pictures, but their attention seemed to be elsewhere.

 

“You look pretty decent yourself.” Wonwoo said and Soonyoung knew that was the next best thing he could get to a compliment. Even though his words held no warmth, his smile was so blinding that Soonyoung couldn’t possibly miss it. 

 

Their mothers eventually smushed them together to get a picture. 

  
  
  
  


Wonwoo dragged Soonyoung away from their friends that crowded them so they could go out and drive. He didn't know what exactly he had to say, but he knew he had to get it out. He felt years of emotions about to burst out of him.

 

“Why are we here Wonwoo~?” Soonyoung said fondly as Wonwoo refused to let go of his wrist. He dragged him to sit down on the bleachers. In front of them was the pool that had been with them for the last four years of their lives. 

 

“Remember when I hated you. Like really resented you—”

 

“Because I was better than you. How could I ever forget thirteen year old little jealous Wonwoo?” Soonyoung tried to grab his cheeks, but Wonwoo caught his hand with his own and held it there. 

 

“I'm sorry I ever treated you badly Soonyoung. I know how much it bothers you when people act harshly towards you with no explanation, and for me to be one of the few to treat you like that… I'm sorry.” Wonwoo started out and Soonyoung immediately wanted to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He knew what this conversation meant. Sooner or later he'd have to say  _ goodbye _ , but it was all coming too fast. He didn’t want his time with Wonwoo to be over. 

 

“Thank you for becoming one of my best friends. You've affected my life so much more than you can ever know. You've made me a better swimmer and been there for me through everything. I don't know how I'm going to survive school without you, but somehow I'll manage.” Wonwoo’s voice was getting thick with emotion and Soonyoung knew if he were to cry, then, fuck, he'd be sobbing like a baby. 

 

“I know it's not… easy for you to become friends with people, so thank you for letting me into your life. These past four years have been so much fun swimming with you. I'm honestly so glad I pushed you into racing me freshman year even though I did cross the line a bit.” Soonyoung laughed and he knew it was the last straw. He couldn't help the tears from falling. At the sight of their interlocked fingers, it made his heart pound in happy memories. 

 

“Don't cry. You're gonna make me cry. I'm serious.” Wonwoo smiled and Soonyoung’s heart raced even more and he reached to wipe away the fallen tears with his thumb. It was moments like these, when Wonwoo was a little too close, that Soonyoung got a good look at his face. Every single time, he realized Wonwoo was only getting more handsome and sometime the world wasn't fair. 

 

Their eyes found each other's, and Soonyoung saw he wasn't alone. Wonwoo felt all the emotions he was feeling. He'd miss Soonyoung like Soonyoung would miss him. They were best friends after all.

 

Maybe it was the moment. Their emotions were high and Wonwoo would finally admit, if someone asked, that Soonyoung looked really, really good with his new black hair. He thought he always looked good. Or maybe it was the past four years catching up to them. Or it could be the fact they didn't know when they'd see each other again, but for some reason Wonwoo was inching closer and closer to Soonyoung. He thought it was  _ cute _ the way his eyes fluttered shut and his head tilted a bit. If he could just stare at the sight for a while, he'd be content. 

 

Before their lips could meet, a door could be heard opening.

 

“Hey! Who's there?” A random voice said which separated the boys instantly. Soonyoung got up and tugged Wonwoo, who seemed to be rooted in place. They ran all the way to the parking lot and couldn't stop laughing when they finally got into the car. 

  
  


Wonwoo wished things could’ve been like this forever. He wished Soonyoung never left and they stayed friends because he didn't know that'd be the last time he'd ever see him. 

  
  


☔️


	2. 1

There is always something about summer that Jeon Wonwoo hated. It seemed ironic for him to be born in the hottest month since he strongly disliked the season. It’s always hot, scorching hot, since the sun is often out to play. It’s humid enough for the air to suffocate you. Summer is feeling homesick, but you can’t go back home because you accepted the responsibility of being a college student close to home, yet still too far away to go running back. Summer reminds him of happy memories that have become too painful to recall. This atmosphere is something Wonwoo  _ can’t _ thrive in—something he’s still not used to after living here for two years. He just can’t get over the fact that it still feels like something is missing after all this time. Years of time. 

  
  
  
  


All things seemed ordinary in Wonwoo’s life. He was twenty years old, and faced all the struggles any college boy would. He thought about his family, who just checked in with him asking if he was settling properly. He thought about his new roommate since dorms got reassigned every year. He thought about his future, or more specially,  _ what the hell could he do with a bachelor's degree in English (and hopefully, Biology)? _

 

Everything was weighing on him heavily now that he was a junior in college. But those thoughts, when compared to swimming, seemed like child’s play. He’s been swimming for eight years. Eight hard working years filled with long practices and aching limbs and medals and a former best friend who he should not be thinking of right now.  _ He  _ had nothing to do with Wonwoo’s present, and even less with his future. But he couldn’t help his mind, which often drifted back to  _ him _ before swim season. 

 

It was stupid. The fact that he was considering quitting after all he’s been through is silly. Almost laughable.

 

He knew something had snapped in his heart between last season and this upcoming one. He no longer felt excited at the mere mention of the sport. He even dreaded coming back this semester because he  _ knew  _ he would have to swim. He’s on a scholarship after all. 

 

He’s just so upset at the fact that he can feel his motivation weakening. His worst fear, coming to hate swimming, is becoming a reality as the seconds tick on. It shouldn’t feel like a job, but it does. This is not the childish fun he grew to love in middle school, but something more serious that allows no room for error. 

 

Him wanting to quit has nothing to do with  _ him _ —with Soonyoung.

 

Before going insane from thinking too much, he focuses on the boxes full of his belongings. Their sight just reminded him that he’d eventually have to unpack. That this year was inevitably going to happen no matter how much he mentally tried to fight it. 

 

Ripping off the tape from one of the boxes, he prayed this long year would treat him nicely. 

  
  


☔️

  
  


“You’ve been spacing out a lot lately.” Jihoon’s voice  pulled him out of his muses. It was after a particularly hard practice, but Wonwoo was getting used to the familiar stretch of limbs swimming entailed. They’d been going hard at practices for close to a month, but he was still tired. Swimming in a pool for four hours can do that to you. 

 

“He’s probably just tired. We all are.” Jun interjected and tried to soothe his boyfriend’s worrying. Jun knew well of how taxing swimming could be since he was also on the team. He, himself, appeared to be just as drained as his fellow swimmer. Wonwoo wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t even cared to fully dry his hair. 

 

“Yeah, but I swear he was just staring out the window, completely still, for like three minutes.” Wonwoo laughed at Jihoon’s observation skills while taking a bite out of his sandwich. It’s been sitting untouched for the entire thirty minutes they’ve been inside the cafe. It’s quaint, quiet, and a short walk from the pool. Ever since the couple had met Wonwoo during freshman year, they often came here after practices to eat, or talk, or study. 

 

While pushing up his glasses, he glanced down at his food. It was the same turkey club that Wonwoo had been ordering for two years. The food wasn’t unappealing. In fact, the stack of cold cuts and toppings tasted just as delicious as always. Wonwoo was the one acting unusual. After hours of swimming, he had no appetite. 

 

“I’m just thinking.” Wonwoo said vaguely since he didn’t want to worry his friends further. He caught sight of his bangs in his line of sight before he pushed the light brown, almost blonde, damp hair out of his face.

 

The way the two gazed at him, eyes filled with concern, from across the table made him feel a bit guilty about locking up his true feelings. The last thing he wanted to do was worry his best friends, but he didn’t want them to know how much he was struggling. Swimming was becoming suffocating—more suffocating than the summer air around him—which made the situation worse. The last thing he wanted to do was quit the sport he used to love. 

  
  


“So do you think Coach will actually retire this year?” Wonwoo attempted to change the subject. Instead of prying like usual, they just gave each other a glance before buying into Wonwoo’s implied wish to drop the subject. 

 

“He’s been telling people that for five years apparently. That man is going to be teaching swimming until he dies.” Jun replied with a mouth full of salad. Wonwoo can recall him telling them it was his last year working during freshman year. 

 

“I think it’s legit this time. He talked to me about how he and his wife bought a condo on the coast.” Jihoon mentioned before stuffing his mouth with more of the burger he ordered. He smacked Jun’s wandering hand, which was attempting to steal some french fries, away from his tray. The look of annoyance from Jihoon contrasted greatly with Jun’s sweet smile. He even clung to the smaller which made Wonwoo laugh. They are disgustingly cute. Wonwoo can’t remember them being anything else. 

  
  


He still remembers them two years ago. Jihoon, not even being a formal member of the team, only helped out with towels or getting water. He refused, still does, to be called a manager. Jun, being the clumsy idiot he is, slipped on the wet tiles surrounding the pool one practice. Unlike Wonwoo and the rest of the members who were laughing their asses off, Jihoon helped him up to the nearby bleachers. Jun swears he pulled out a first aid kit from his ass, but Jihoon said he went to the office to get it. Jun is just delusional. After the shorter cleaned up the cut and bandaged the other’s knee, Wonwoo had to hear about how  _ cute  _ he was for the entire season before screaming at him to  _ fucking make a move _ . 

  
  


“It’ll suck if he just leaves during the middle of the season. Adapting to a new coaching style is tricky.” Wonwoo mentioned. They both agreed and finished up their lunch. Jun ate the rest of Jihoon’s fries.

  
  
  
  
  


It’s confirmed that Jeon Wonwoo is a jinx. His entire existence is definitely a jinx. Just when he, Jun, and Jihoon were discussing their Coach leaving in the middle of the damn season, the next day they realized he’s done just that. If the random, middle-aged woman waiting for the members by the pool wasn’t an bigger indication that Coach had left,  then consider Wonwoo stupid. 

 

He’s just the opposite. He has a shining transcript full of high marks to prove it.

 

As the confused boys took a seat on the metal bleachers of their indoor pool complex, they looked to each other in panic. Jun appeared to be the most shaken as he clung to Wonwoo’s arm like a kid. He’s usually stuck to Jihoon, and the stoic boy lets him since the emotions are high. 

 

Not after long, the last of the remaining stragglers ran in to join the crowd sitting down. The woman smiled, looking excited to finally be getting started. Wonwoo feared for his life. When a coach is smiling like that because of a workout, it’s never good for the athletes. He attempts to mentally prepare himself for the conditioning she probably has in mind. 

 

“You’re all probably wondering where your coach went?” She asked, rhetorical, but someone towards the front still muttered out a  _ yes _ making Wonwoo want to cringe. They all showed some form of confusion, so he assumed she knew they were clueless on the subject.

 

“He’s finally retired. Good for him right? I’ve been pushing him to now that he and his wife were of age.” She laughed. The way her cheeks pushed her eyes tight to form crescents made her seem a little friendlier than earlier. She’d been sizing the boys up and down before, but maybe that was just an intimidation tactic for them to take her seriously. 

 

She continued on to tell little anecdotes about her and their former coach. He’d been her coach ( _ millions of years ago _ as she put it) and once she went to the Olympic Trials during her college years, they kept in contact ever since. 

 

At the mention of the Olympics, many boys jumped in their seats. Even if it isn’t Wonwoo’s dream to swim at the global competition, he’s still fascinated with swimming. To watch and compete next to amazing athletes on such a high level is a once in a lifetime opportunity. This woman, although her appearance is short and stocky, is probably no joke. 

 

“I hope you’re all ready to work. I have big things planned for this season.” She ended with a clasp of her hands. Wonwoo bets she didn’t say her name, or he spaced out when she mentioned it because he can’t recall her name. Her face does spark some kind of familiarity within him, but he doesn’t know where it’s coming from. Before he can dwell too longer, Jun is pulling him to their usual lane for warm ups. 

 

Wonwoo finds it odd how she commands and coaches with a smile on her face. It’s the same eye-tightening, soft cheeked smile that reminds him of something familiar, yet distant. He tries to push it to the back of his mind as practice ends since it’s unimportant. His head was focused on peeling off Jun, who had draped himself tiredly over Wonwoo’s shoulders, from his body as they headed to the showers. 

 

“Jeon Wonwoo. Can I see you for a moment?” He heard the still foreign, female voice call out from across the pool which instantly made him perk up. He and Jun shared a brief look before the auburn haired boy slapped him on the back towards their new coach. Wonwoo figured his shower and usual dinner in the cafeteria with the two could afford to wait. 

  
  


His legs were made of steel as he forced his way over to his coach. Luckily, the smiley woman met him half-way by the diving boards. 

 

“So, Han put in quite a name for you.” She said with her eyebrows raised and her arms folded as she referred to his former coach. The way she even shoved into Wonwoo a bit made him question just how old she really was. By appearance, the lines on around her eyes showed she’s most likely someone’s mother, but her mannerisms showed otherwise. He’s only ever had male coaches with strict, somewhat overbearing tendencies. He’s not used to this maternal atmosphere she gives off. 

 

“W-What did he say about me?” The way his arm crossed over his chest to hold the other resting at his side showed his nervousness. Even Wonwoo noticed in the two seconds talking to her that she was a comfortable coach to be around, she still had that intimidation factor of being able to flip a switch. Of course he wanted to stay in her good graces. 

 

“He mentioned how you’re a talented young man, a team leader, and someone I can rely on to get to know this team.” His coach said nonchalantly like she wasn’t complimenting Wonwoo. She bursted out red when she noticed how tinted the boy’s face was. 

 

“That’s not true. I’m just as good as everyone else.” He tried his best to brush off her praise. He was never good at accepting compliments or anything positive.

 

“Oh! And he’s humble too? Total captain material in my opinion.” She shoots him a thumbs off before releasing the swimmer to go on his merry way. The locker room is probably vacant at this point, so Wonwoo hopes Jihoon doesn’t have Jun pinned to a locker the last time it took him more than five minutes to shower. 

 

☁️

 

Blame it on his new Coach (named Coach Kwon he soon discovered a day or two after their first practice together), or the cooling weather, or the better atmosphere, or the fact that he missed his idiot swimming friends, but Wonwoo found himself pushing out of his little swim slump stroke by stroke. Literally and figuratively. With every practice, with everyday nearing their first meet, he felt himself getting back into it. It was probably the summer heat melting his brain these past months. It had to be.  

 

Now that classes were starting, he felt the weight of double majoring just within the first week of syllabi and introductions. His year will be filled with essays and labs reports and stress. So much  _ fucking _ stress that he’s unprepared for.

 

_ “You’re Jeon fucking Wonwoo, a prodigy genius or whatever. You can do anything dude.”  _

 

An over excited voice —a memory— echoed in his head. Even after all these years,  _ his _ voice still acts as some kind of motivation when Wonwoo is lacking. It’s childish, he  _ knows  _ it’s childish, but he can’t help but smile whenever he recalls the little pieces of Soonyoung. He was always someone who made Wonwoo feel invincible. Even years later, when things are still fragile to Wonwoo, he can’t forget the happiness he brought him. 

 

No, he did  _ not  _ miss him. He’s stopped missing him when he knew it was  _ pointless _ . 

  
  


Just like how it’s  _ pointless _ to be dwelling on the thought of Kwon Soonyoung. Or the concept of him since his time with the other felt unreal. As Wonwoo changed quickly into his swim shorts, already a little behind the rest of his teammates, he tried to shove the memory of his old best friend out of his head. He hated how he found himself slipping back into old habits of calling home and asking if Soonyoung has visited. He hated how he hasn’t deleted his contact, or even changed the stupid nickname in his phone. 

 

What he hated the most was the fact his feelings, whatever they were, hadn’t dissipated in the slightest bit. 

 

Hell, he could probably see Soonyoung right now and  he’d still be the blushing mess he was the very last night they were together, their high school graduation. 

 

Along with the rest of his idiotic thoughts, he shoves them out of sight. Opting to focus more on something more significant, his hand finds one of the swimming caps and pair of goggles in his locker before catching up with Jun. Luckily, he’s just giving advice on form to a couple of freshman so it’s easy for Wonwoo to slip in unnoticed. 

 

Unlike their usual routine they’d slipped into, Coach Kwon had ushered the group of boys into a crowd. Since Wonwoo came late, he was towards the back with Jun. In between the spaces people made for them to see, he could see their Coach, with a stopwatch around her neck hanging below her whistle, Jihoon to her left instead of in the office taking care of whatever  _ non- _ managers do, and to her right…

 

Wonwoo’s heart stopped. Restarted. And began to hammer in his chest. 

  
  


“As you know we have our first meet coming up in a week or two,” the short woman said, looking completely serious. In response everyone cheered and clapped due to the excitement of in-season. “Times don’t lie. This will show me exactly where I need to put you. Or if I even need you on this team at all.” The usual carefree lady who cuts their laps short is nowhere to be seen. Instead, she holds her stopwatch, and peers over to the two boys standing next to her.

 

“You all know Jihoon, your lovely manager,” 

 

Jun broke the silence with a fraction of a giggle that was gone as quick as it came. Luckily, he and Wonwoo were a distance away from their coach so she didn’t catch wind of it. 

 

“He will be taking times for us and documenting.” She motioned to the boy, who just nodded to everyone. He’s pretty much everyone’s favorite person after putting up with their whining for two years. 

 

Why everyone, or why Wonwoo assumed everyone, was more interested in the boy to Coach’s right. It’s not common for their team to have visitors but by his muscular build and striking physical similarity to their coach, they guess he’s of importance. 

 

How did he not figure it out sooner? The eye smile, the way Wonwoo weirdly found it comfortable around her, the way she could be motivating him one second and then lecturing him the next like Soonyoung used to during their entire friendship. All the signs were jumping out and screaming at Wonwoo, but maybe he just didn’t want to realize that she had some connection to the person he’s been trying to forget about. 

 

“My other helper, Soonyoung, will be sticking around and helping out as timekeeper this season, so don’t be surprised if you see him more often.” She grabbed at the black-haired boy’s shoulders and leaned into him slightly. The small hug could only be described as domestic, or motherly. Something that gave them all a clue on the relationship between the two. 

 

The athletes didn’t have time to dwell on the coach’s mysterious son as they headed over to the starting blocks for warm ups. The usual conversation between all the boys is eerily quiet due to the pressure of time trials. Whether they like it or not, their season, and if they get to swim the events they want, depend on this afternoon. 

 

Wonwoo, unlike his younger self, has grown out of the usual jittery nerves that used to plague his mind. He’s learned freaking out does nothing but add more stress, so he tries his best to remain calm while focusing on his breaststroke form and keeping his arms strong. He swam all the swim styles at least once since he knew they’d be timed generally, and not specifically to their desired events. 

 

“That’s your old friend isn’t it?” Jun had his arms stretched above his head as he tried to loosen his joints. Wonwoo, in the midst of downing his water, almost choked. His initial reaction was to look over Jun’s annoyingly broad shoulders to see if Soonyoung was anywhere near the two. Wonwoo wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of knowing he cares enough to talk about him after all this time. 

 

When he spots Soonyoung a safe distance away, showing Jihoon how to work the new stopwatches, he pulls Jun down to eye level. 

 

“Keep your voice down.” His voice is seething, almost venomous. The sight of stupid Soonyoung in his stupid black shirt, that was a little too tight in Wonwoo’s opinion ( _ I can see his fucking biceps through it what the fuck _ ), and his stupid gray joggers that stuck to his legs which had boys  _ whispering  _ about him just brought out ugly feelings. Wonwoo, obviously wishing for his own demise, kept sneaking glances at him and back to the group of underclassmen that were conversing about Soonyoung. 

 

No, he was  _ not  _ jealous. 

 

“But to answer your question, yes that is my friend. You must pay attention more than I thought.” Wonwoo teased. Jun’s eyes narrowed before opening his mouth again.

 

“What’s he doing here though? I thought you had no idea where he was.” Jun, just as confused as he is, questioned. Wonwoo put down his water bottle. He and his friends haven’t really discussed Soonyoung since their freshman year; when Wonwoo was still a sulky mess, sad about the lack of contact. Jun and Jihoon had been the first, and only, people to hear about his dear friend after they’d pried it out of him. They received the full sob story, full of pictures thanks to his mom’s Facebook, on how their friendship bloomed all because of swimming. They were brought together by the sport, but found themselves in a weird relationship since they didn’t match well. He told them in detail on how they promised to keep in contact, since they’d be swimming at different schools, but none of that happened. Soonyoung never answered any of his calls once first semester started. No texts, no letters, no  _ anything. _

 

“If I knew, I’d tell you.” Wonwoo grumbled, his mood turned sour. He didn’t need this negative energy fucking up his mentality, so he attempted to turn it into motivation. 

  
  


Shaking off the memories, he heads towards edge of the pool where his Coach is standing with a clipboard. She calls out the eldest members, Wonwoo and Jun included, to the assigned lanes and tells them to prepare for their 50 meter…swam in freestyle. 

 

At the mention of it, Wonwoo glances over to Soonyoung before he can stop himself. His eyes linger for a second longer than they should as he grows confused. Soonyoung looks as if he’s daydreaming, or zoned out and his eyes just happened to fall on Wonwoo. 

 

As he stretches up, elongating his body and stepping on the tips of his toes, he tries to suppress a smile. Watching Soonyoung’s eyes trail down his body and back up did not help his ego or his resolve to ignore the other. Finally Wonwoo stopped stretching after a whistle was blown. 

 

Once their eyes met, Soonyoung, ears red and bottom lip caught caught between his teeth, held his gaze for a millisecond before looking down and away. He too, looked away just as quick before pulling down his goggles. 

 

Wonwoo, feeling too giddy, tried his best not to false start. 

  
  
  


He is forever grateful for Jihoon’s ability to read the atmosphere. Now that time trials had just ended, with the last of the freshman finishing in their 50 meter butterfly, Wonwoo was bouncing off the wall, smiling. Jun figured it may be due to pressure of time trials being lifted, but Jihoon eyed him weirdly. He recognized Soonyoung perfectly, and figured his happiness was linked to the boy coming back after ghosting on Wonwoo for so long.  

 

He didn’t pry or ask questions even though his face showed he desperately wanted to. He knew here, at a fast food restaurant where the rest of their team was downing fried chicken, wasn’t the right place. The long look he gave Wonwoo told him they’d definitely discuss it later. 

 

There really wasn’t anything to talk about. Wonwoo just as confused as they were when it came to this. All he knew was he slightly too happy about him checking him out. And nothing else. Nope. Not the fact that he could potentially see him everyday again. 

 

Jihoon slides him a glass of beer. Wonwoo gladly accepts, wondering when everyone started ordering alcohol, and welcomes at its bitter nature. 

  
  


It’s 2am, a long ways past campus curfew, when all of the boys are sneaking back into their respective dorms. Jihoon, being the amazing  _ non _ -manager he is, bought water for all of his kids to sober up a bit, so they weren’t tripping and stumbling like they were an hour ago. 

 

He wants to go home and fucking sleep, but  _ no _ , his friend and boyfriend can’t hold their alcohol for shit. 

 

“Jihoon, I found this flower. It’s a  _ Helianthus _ . Did you know?” Wonwoo sounded enamoured with the sunflower as he plucked it out of the ground. Autumn hadn’t quite settled, so nights felt nice and slightly breezy. 

 

“Amazing. Now please get up and go to your room before we get caught by campus police.” Jihoon scolded, ignoring the biology terminology, and tried to pry Jun’s wandering hands from underneath his t-shirt. 

 

“It’s not as pretty as him, but do you think Soon will still like it?” The boy pushed up his glasses so he could examine the small sunflower even closer. With a smile, he brought it to Jun

 

“Y-Yeah he might Won. You should give it to him. Right now.” Jun wrapped his muscular arms around Jihoon and rested his chin on the shorter boy’s shoulder, making him feel trapped. Jihoon sighed in his sobriety, and prayed to God to get him out of this mess. 

  
  


When he strikes a deal with Jun and promises Wonwoo that he’ll somehow be able to give Soonyoung his flower, they’re finally headed towards Wonwoo’s dorm. Jihoon, already planning on banning alcohol from group activities, lets himself be carried on Jun’s back. Wen fucking Junhui and his love for mushy, public displays of affection will forever be the death of him. 

 

As they make their way up the flight of stairs, Wonwoo keeps mumbling on about  _ cute Soonyoung  _ and  _ flowers.  _ He hopes his friend isn’t too disappointed when he realizes he won’t be giving the flower up tonight, but sleep is more important. They all need to go to bed instead. 

 

Their slow paced walk nears a stop when Wonwoo’s door is spotted. Jihoon is near slumber with his eyes closed, but he is still conscious of what’s going on. He hears the rustling of Wonwoo digging in his pockets. He hears hands patting fabric. Then, a whisper breaks the silence. 

 

“What do I do? I forgot my keys…” Wonwoo asked, trying to keep quiet since they thought Jihoon was sound asleep on Jun’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t you have a roommate? Just knock” he stated like it was common sense which is  _ was _ , but reality always has a complication.

 

“They’re never home. They just moved in a couple days ago, and we haven’t ran into each other yet.” Wonwoo sighs. This situation is like a bucket of cold water. He no longer feels warm and fuzzy thanks to the beer. He might actually be locked out. 

  
  


The two whisper back and forth discussing how Wonwoo can crash at Jun’s dorm, or maybe in the lounge on the couch if the usual cat isn’t there, or maybe even outside the d—

 

“Just fucking knock.” Jihoon whisper shouts, and opens his eyes to glare at Wonwoo who looks every bit of wide-eyed and surprised. 

 

Before his fist hits the wooden door, it opens with force and an annoyed, sleepy Soonyoung standing on the other side. 

 

“I can hear you guys talking from inside.” He briefly explains, his voice sounding a bit scratchy from his sleep, before leaving the door open and heading back to into the room. 

 

The three share a look of confusion that morphs into smugness from his two best friends. Wonwoo brushes them off while tucking the flower behind Jihoon’s ear. 

 

If Wonwoo wasn’t sober before, then he’s plenty sober now.

  
  


☂️

  
  


When he realizes he and Soonyoung are locked in this awkward dance that consists of curt greetings and studying in silence, he doesn’t know how to get out of it. He’d always thought, if by some miracle the universe brought Soonyoung back to him, it wouldn’t be this…weird. It was unrealistic of him to assumed they’d just slip back into where they left off two years ago with no questions asked. 

 

If everything was how it was supposed to be, Soonyoung would still be at that prestigious, out-of-state school with his swimming scholarship. Instead, he was here, right next to Wonwoo as they walked to practice together. It makes no sense as to why he’s attending the same college as him. If something happened to him, he would’ve told Wonwoo right? He thinks their years of friendship is worth more than keeping secrets. 

 

He peers over at Soonyoung, who’s looking straight ahead, as they walk to the swim center. It’s a long way from their dorm and has been nothing but quiet. 

 

“So how do you like it here?” The question is abrupt, almost made Soonyoung jump. Wonwoo decided to take a chance and try to restore their friendship. Nothing was going to happen unless the two of them overcame whatever awkwardness they were stuck in. 

 

After a second, the fact that Wonwoo was actually asking him something seemed to register which made Soonyoung clear his throat.

 

“It’s good. Really nice and pretty. It’s kind of like home except it’s really hot…in the summer.” 

 

Oh.

 

“You were here in the summer?” Wonwoo questions as they enter the activity center where all the indoor sports practice. They weave through the dancers and gymnast who are on water break to make it towards the back where the pool is. 

 

“Oh, um, yeah. I’m staying with my mom now. My actual mom.” Soonyoung shyly explain. 

 

Wonwoo nods before letting the subject drop. He tries to recall any mention of a divorce between his parents or going to visit his mom during time off but he comes up with nothing. This is the first time Wonwoo’s hearing of this. 

 

They go their separate ways, Wonwoo into the locker room and Soonyoung towards the office, in silence. 

  
  


Coach Kwon had a bucket of colorful kickboards in hand when she finally appeared for practice. Today was something light, just working on your kicking form since she’d mostly be in the office putting the final touches on the times list. 

 

They’ll finally be able to know what events their swimming at their first meet. Since it was only days away, everyone was somewhere on the spectrum of anxious and calm. Wonwoo felt more than confident that he’d get those 50 meter and 100 meter backstroke spots he’s always had and hopefully, hopefully, a spot on the 50 meter medley relay. 

 

Last year, the team was filled with seniors taking up most of the relay positions, so Wonwoo only swam one event he truly enjoyed. Anything outside of backstroke was something uncomfortable, so swimming breaststroke was a sad struggle the entire season. 

 

Jun claims he did fine, but anything  _ subpar, eh, okay _ is a failure in Wonwoo’s book. 

 

After 10,000 laps in the pool of just swimming back and forth with a kickboard, a familiar lady suddenly calls them over to take a look at the freshly posted lists. 

 

The boys are fighting like barbarians to get out of the pool as they climb over one another dangerously. Wonwoo’s surprised none of them slip and break a limb at the speed they’re running over there. 

 

He, Jun, and the rest of the upperclassmen are the last to mosey their way over to the list. Everyone is pouncing on Wonwoo in congratulatory hugs and pats on the shoulder before he could even process what’s going on. 

 

Underneath every single event they swam, he was at the top. His name next to his time was highlighted bold as the  _ leader _ , the  _ time to beat _ . He could understand if he was leading in the backstroke events, but every single one? That’s fucking bullshit. He’s not  _ that _ skilled all around. He certainly didn’t beat Jun in the freestyle or butterfly. Those were his swim styles and everyone knew it. 

 

“Who timed me?” He pulls himself out of the crowd his teammates and over to his Coach, who’s a few feet away conversing with Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

 

They direct their attention over to Wonwoo, who’s fast approaching and looking panicked. They all looked alarmed at the rather sudden interruption, but glance to each other trying to gather an answer. 

 

“We all had an assigned lane, so if you swam in the same lane each time, you most likely had the same person time you. Why? Have a problem with your times?” The way she questioned him with a hint of intimidation made him wonder if he should even be complaining about this to begin with. But he felt his times weren’t a true reflection of what he was capable of. That’s why he was here. 

 

Not because he firmly believes Soonyoung, whether on accident or on purpose, fucked up his times. Probably distracted by  _ something _ , but he didn’t want to think of the reason why. 

 

“I just feel like my times were a little off.” Wonwoo glanced over to the believed suspect, who was meeting his eyes as innocently as ever. 

 

“Well it’s human error to start the stopwatch a fraction of a second early or late. We can’t be perfect.” She pointed out and the two boys beside her agreed. Great, now he looks like a fucking asshole, but this isn’t the problem right now.

 

“Tenths of a second is one thing, but entire seconds is another.” Wonwoo tried his best to explain without flat out accusing. He had no solid evidence except that Soonyoung, his short attention span, and the fact that he was salivating at the sight of him. 

 

Okay, that was an exaggeration, but he checked him out! He figured he timed him since he was watching Wonwoo to begin with. 

 

“Are you suggesting I don’t know how to work a stopwatch?” Soonyoung spoke up while coming closer. His arms were linked behind his back, a habit Wonwoo hadn’t forgotten. In an attempt to size him up, he dragged his eyes up his body. That proved to be a  _ huge  _ mistake considering his old friend had gained a large amount of muscle. He isn’t sure what he does in his free time anymore, but he’s pretty sure it doesn’t involve eating his body weight in ramen like he did when they were sixteen. 

 

Oh shit, he’s staring isn’t he? 

 

“I need to talk to you.” Wonwoo gripped his bicep ( _ wow, shit, how much does he bench? _ ) and dragged him away from everyone else so he could talk to him alone. Soonyoung didn’t fight his grip and just let himself be pulled. 

 

“I didn’t fuck with your times if that’s what you’re wondering.” His arms crossed his chest as he looked up to Wonwoo, almost pouting. He looks pissed at the fact that he’d even imply that he would do such a thing. 

 

“That doesn’t make any sense then. I’ve never—“

 

“Maybe you just are that good Wonwoo.” He cut him off, probably already knowing where the other was heading with the conversation. Soonyoung still remembers Wonwoo’s habit of selling himself short. 

 

“I looked back at the records, and those are the best times you’ve ever swam. I heard the team talking after you’d swam saying  _ he’s never been that fast before _ . I don’t know what changed in your heart from last season to this one, but keep it up.” 

 

Soonyoung brushed past him leaving a stunned Wonwoo behind him. Reality caught up to him soon enough as he followed after him. 

 

This season would surely be interesting. 

  
  
  
  


Their first meet passes with no significant problems. Yeah, someone forgot their goggles, and may have missed check-in for their event, but that’s just first meet nerves. Freshman are still learning how college works. 

 

Gladly, Wonwoo had swam his expected events. He, Jun, and two seniors had filled the spots of their medley relay which led them to gold. 

 

It was a low pressure meet; the schools were nothing to be afraid of. Wonwoo topped his individual events. He figured he’d done pretty damn good, so he’s a bit confused why his Coach is calling him over to talk to him right now. 

 

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” She coaxed him, probably seeing through his poker face and realizing he was slightly anxious. He’s curious as to why Soonyoung is standing next to her as well, but it’ll probably be answered in the next minute or so. 

 

“Great job at Saturday’s meet. You wracked up a lot of points for us.” She smiled at him enthusiastically. He tilted his head in a small bow as a thank you, a little shy due to the praise. Even though swimming was an individual sport, only schools as a whole win meets. When you’re swimming your event, you want to place as high as you can so you can contribute to your school’s overall total. 

 

“Soonyoung has told me you only swim backstroke.” 

 

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes in confusion at the fact that he was even a topic of conversation. Unless Soonyoung was relying on past information, he must’ve been paying attention during this past meet where Wonwoo only swam backstroke events. He was surprised to see him there, dressed in his school polo with the words  _ Medical Staff  _ embroidered on the chest along with the first aid equipment bag. 

 

Wonwoo didn’t know he was a student trainer, common for people studying kinesiology, and had to do a double take. He even properly bandaged their teammates leg. 

 

“Yes. It’s the event that I prefer, but if you need me somewhere else…” His words wandered, hopefully he didn’t have to complete his point. This year, if he’s being honest, is looking quite bright. His swimming has improved and he’s juggling school work with it all. To throw a wrench it now would be devastating to Wonwoo’s happiness. 

 

If this was a perfect world, he’d be swimming backstroke in the ocean along side a fucking whale. Stress-free. Maybe Soon— _ no _ . He wouldn’t be there. Jun and Jihoon would definitely be there. 

 

But sadly, it’s reality. And sometimes, you don’t get always what you want. 

 

“How do you think about the individual medley?” She suggests, which almost make Wonwoo’s eyes pop out of his head. Only the fittest, best overall swimmers should be doing an individual medley. In the past, his stamina lacked. Not only did he feel breathless after two turns, but he didn’t have the strength in all four swimming styles in one event. 

 

He instantly wanted to decline, but a voice butted in before he could protest. 

 

“Before you say no—I know you were about to—just think about it over Jeon. It’ll be a lot of work this season, but it’s nothing you’re not capable of.” Soonyoung persuaded while Wonwoo wondered when he became more like an assistant coach and less like a timekeeper. During high school, he’d always been knowledgeable of swimming. He’s the one who debunked all the myths that had plagued Wonwoo since middle school. He thought you could just jump into the pool right after eating. 

 

He may be all-knowing as a twenty year old can get about swimming, but the way he just acts like he knows Wonwoo the best when it comes to the sport sits wrong with him. He’s been gone, totally isolated from Wonwoo’s life for the past two years, so he has no right to act like he wants what’s best for him. He probably doesn’t even care. 

 

“Thank you, but I know what I was about to say.” He glances over to Soonyoung, who looks taken aback at Wonwoo’s defensiveness. 

 

“I’ll think about it Coach. I’ll let you know soon.” 

 

Wonwoo walks away before he can dwell on the past any longer. 

  
  
  


He’d tried his best, he really had, to not be mad at Soonyoung. Another couple of meets had past, another couple of weeks, and still no progress between the two of them. Wonwoo may or may not have been to blame for the even bigger rift. He tried, but every time the past had been brought up, making the question of  _ where the fuck have you been?  _ finally come to light, Soonyoung ran away faster than Wonwoo could grab him.

 

Wonwoo was losing hope that they’d ever go back to the way they used to be. Those carefree times of staying in, side by side on his bed just looking at his ceiling talking, or Soonyoung dragging him out of the house to some secluded side of town seemed so distant. He wonders if they ever even happened. 

 

It’s been a while since he’s had the pool to himself. He hasn’t taken the liberty to get in some private practice. The dorm is so suffocating. Now that he was attempting to swim the individual medley, he needed the extra practice now more than ever. 

 

After practicing the turn from breaststroke to freestyle for the tenth time, and swimming a couple laps in freestyle, he forces himself out of the pool before he depletes his energy completely. His shoulders are sore from overwork and legs a bit tight, but he still makes his way over to the benches where his water bottle sits. Just laying down and collapsing while tired will let the lactic acid build up. 

 

“Looks like you still don’t know how to breathe correctly while swimming free.” A voice above him mocks which has Wonwoo giving himself whiplash. 

 

Soonyoung has his head resting in his palm uninterestedly, like he doesn’t even want to be here. He’s in his usual work out attire (does he even own real clothes?) with his feet propped up on the row below his. At the sight of him, Wonwoo audibility scoffs. Maybe if he ignores him, he’ll go back to wherever he came from. Probably the gym or the dorm or whatever college he was hiding at for two years. 

 

“And you need to be quicker on your turns if you want to be able to compete in the event this week. It’s only a couple more meets before Championship season.” Soonyoung rises from the stands to head down next to Wonwoo. 

 

“I don’t need your help.” He said with every bit of bitterness he felt, making Soonyoung frown. The shorter caught up with him in time and was able to latch on to his hand on to his wrist to get his attention. 

 

“Wonwoo, please.” The shorter turned him around, but he attempted to keep his eyes away from him. He knew Soonyoung would be able to crack his resolve with just one begging look. 

 

“I know it doesn’t make any sense coming from me, but I’ve swam this event before. I know what I’m saying. Trust me—“ 

 

“Trust you?” Wonwoo laughed, carding his hand through his wet strands of hair. He snatched his arm away, back to his own side, like he’d been burned by Soonyoung’s touch. 

 

“Trust you like I did before we left high school? Should I put enough trust in you  _ not  _ to ignore me even though we were going separate ways or  _ not  _ to forget about me for two years or  _ not  _ to answer back any of my messages or  _ not  _ to just leave me even though you were my best friend! Should I trust you even though you did all of those things Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asks, his form coming close to the other’s which forces him to take a step back closer to the pool.

 

“I—That has nothing to do with swimming Wonwoo.” He weakly argues, his voice cracking while continuing to step back. His feet nearing the edge of the deep end. 

 

“Bullshit, Soonyoung! You have everything to do with my swimming career whether I like it or not. You always push me to the best of my ability. Even you showing up unannounced brought out the best times in me.” He steps forward with his chest heaving in emotion. 

 

“You can’t just leave and try to come back like I wouldn’t notice— like I wouldn’t care. You act like you’re trying to give me advice like I mean something to you, like nothing has changed between us, but that’s not true. You left for two years, and  _ you won’t even tell me why _ .” His voice faded to a whisper as he choked at the rest of his statement. He was toe to toe with Soonyoung, as they stood unmoving at the edge of the pool. 

 

“It’s not important Wonwoo…Just be thankful for what you have! At least you can swim!” Soonyoung said harsher this time, but his eyes still averted. He pushed gently on Wonwoo’s chest to try to put some distance between them.

 

“Whatever.” He laughs, but it’s empty and cold and a bit confused since he’s not really listening to what Soonyoung has to say anymore. He mirrors Soonyoung’s actions, but with a bit more force. He knew the push would knock him off his feet and into the pool, but Soonyoung would be fine.

 

He’d always been the better swimmer. 

  
  


It’s not until ten seconds later, while Wonwoo is making his way back over to his water, that he dives into the water arms first, eyes scanning underwater trying to find Soonyoung’s struggling form. 

 

He’d heard a strained  _ Wonwoo  _ followed by an alarming rate of splashing that had him worried. 

 

With an arm around his waist, he tries his best to bring them to the surface; it’s hard to calm Soonyoung, who’s a mess of panicking limbs. It’s not long before he’s taking deep, hacking breaths with his arms wrapped around Wonwoo’s neck. 

 

“What the hell Soonyoung.”’ He pulls the boy away from his chest, who was comfortably resting on  _ Wonwoo’s _ lap with his chin on  _ Wonwoo’s _ shoulder, and looks at him curiously. He seems to be in the best physical shape of his life, so there’s no reason why a  _ swimmer  _ should’ve drowned.

 

“Are you injured? Are you okay? What happened?” Wonwoo continues to inspect him and even lifts his arm up curiously and squeezes his thighs there's any pain anywhere. Soonyoung swats at his wandering hands with a sighing smile full of sadness. 

 

“Right  _ here _ .” Wonwoo tried not to get distracted by his fingertips travelling up to his shoulder and squeezing there. 

 

“ _ Here  _ is where my swimming career ended for good.” He confessed, making the air around them still. It was quiet for a minute. Wonwoo was too shocked to ask or push any further, so Soonyoung took that as a means to continue. 

 

“Right after the Qualifying rounds to World Championships during freshman year, a doctor told me I’d torn my rotator cuff from overuse.” 

 

He knew Soonyoung’s shoulder was always sensitive, but never to this degree. He always knew his limits and when to stop, but this was college. No one  _ needed _ you on the team except for yourself. Soonyoung’s scholarship was on the line. 

 

“I couldn’t sneak around with all the appointments, so eventually my coach found out. She gave me all of off season to get it sorted, but if I wasn’t better by then, I’d lose my scholarship.” His voice, filled with sadness, made Wonwoo’s heart clench. He reached up to brush the wet hair off of his forehead and hoped he wouldn’t get sick. 

 

“I had hope Wonwoo. I was going to physical therapy and getting stronger, but it wasn’t enough. They told me I needed at least a year off if I wanted to swim safely, with no risk of injury, again. A whole _ year  _ Wonwoo.” Some time ago his hand slid down to his arm to hold on to it. The way he squeezed made Wonwoo want to hold his hand, but he stood still and waited. 

 

“You knew swimming was… my entire life. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do for the rest of future. I couldn’t afford to lose it.” Soonyoung struggled to keep going, obviously still upset with the outcome of things. Wonwoo pushed him closer, trailing his palm on his back in comfort. They fit together like magnets as Soonyoung scooted closer to wrap his arms around Wonwoo’s neck. 

 

“I lied to everyone; To my doctors, my coaches, my parents, my brother and sister, I had everyone fooled into believing that I’d somehow healed. For some time, I even thought I had gotten better within months, but it was just false hope. I didn’t listen to my body when it was in pain, and forced it to swim until it couldn’t any longer.” The way his voice quivered and grew thick with emotion reminded Wonwoo of their graduation day. Seeing Soonyoung in such a state hurt his heart. The world was cruel to take this away from him.

 

“I wasn’t even strong enough to make it to the first meet of the season. The tissues covering my three main bones in my arm, my humerus, scapula, and clavicle, were totally damaged. Because these tissues were damaged, the tendons, or my rotator cuff, that’s supposed to connect the three bones was damaged so I couldn’t even lift my arm properly.” He explained in medicine terms which amused Wonwoo a bit too much. He’d never seen Soonyoung so knowledgeable in something other than swimming. 

 

“After my surgery, it was over completely for me. The tissues can heal, but the damage has been done Wonwoo. I can never swim again.” 

 

Silent tears streamed down Soonyoung’s damp face making Wonwoo’s chest constrict. He tried to hide his face from the other’s line of sight, but Wonwoo wanted to see him clearly. He wanted to brush his tears away and hold his face in the palm of his hands. 

 

So he did. Soonyoung sniffled a bit, and leaned into his touch. 

 

“So why didn’t you tell me Soonie?” His voice soft, fond like he was talking to something delicate. Soonyoung’s hands came to encircle his wrist, but not to pry away his touch. He bit his lower lip trying to find the answer.

 

“My shoulder has been a problem since high school, and even then, you were always hounding me to get it checked on. I knew if I told you how bad it was getting, you wouldn’t support my decision to keep swimming.” His lips taunt in a pout. 

 

“Well of course. You’ve always been reckless and stupid when it comes to things like this.” Wonwoo smiled, and in turn, made Soonyoung smile while trying to shrug himself out of Wonwoo’s hold. The swimmer gripped tighter.

 

“So let me get this straight… you avoided me for two years because you were being a total idiot and didn’t want me to call you out on it…because you knew I would?” Wonwoo pinches his cheeks, which he figures will always be chubby no matter how lean and fit he gets. 

 

“Well when you put it that way, you just make me sound stupid! Forgive me Wonwoo, please? I missed you so much.” Soonyoung whines, but it’s fine. Wonwoo missed the sound. He’s peering up at him with those begging eyes that have gotten them into so much trouble in the past. 

 

Really, how could Wonwoo say no?

 

“Soonyoung, you were—you are—my first best friend. You really think I’m going to let this ruin everything we’ve been through?” He asks Soonyoung, who looked genuinely worried at the fact that his reckless decisions might’ve cost him their friendship. But Wonwoo always had a weakness for him. 

 

☁️

 

Everyone had noticed something shifted between the pair. No one on the team knew of their past other than Jun and Jihoon, who shared a knowing glance every so often, but they saw the tension between the two dissipate as soon as that fateful practice. They went from ignoring each other during practices to even arguing (jokingly, at least everyone thought so) between breaks. Wonwoo thought Soonyoung dyeing his hair a bright, fire truck red was a bit too obvious that things were going well between them. 

 

_ “Your hair should reflect your mood y’know!”  _ It’s been his philosophy since middle school.

 

Soonyoung had taken his mom’s spot of overseeing Wonwoo’s individual practice. Of course he wasn’t as knowledgeable, but he knew a mile more than he and the other boys on the team. 

 

_ “Will you become a coach if your career as a physical therapist doesn’t work out?” _

 

_ “Yeah, maybe if you actually try to pursue being an author.” _

 

_ “That’s impractical Soonyoung…”  _

 

_ “But it’s your dream!” _

  
  


It was one of their many petty arguments, and it was popping up in Wonwoo’s head as he currently watched him walk past with Jihoon to go to the check in station to get official access badges so they can roam around wherever. He and Jun, in the midst of stretching, tracked the two with their eyes. 

 

“You ready for this meet?” Jun helped him up off the mats while smiling sheepishly. Wonwoo was already having an internal breakdown, but Jun was Jun, and always had to check on his well-being. 

 

“Ready as I’ll ever be I guess. I’ve been preparing all season for this.” Wonwoo stretching his arms above his head. The individual medley was an uphill battle he didn’t think would be so difficult, but each week proved he had something else to perfect. He could be quicker when turning or breathe less or he needed more stamina. He wasn’t ready until now: Their Champions Qualifying meet. 

 

This week and onwards needed you to advance to the next so hopefully you’ll be able to compete at the national level, something Wonwoo could only dream of. 

 

The swimmers checked in by event. Wonwoo went with the rest of the backstroke boys, who were jittery with nerves and sharing their doubts with one another.

 

“You guys are nervous, huh?” Wonwoo turned to them awkwardly, trying his best to fulfill his captain duties. 

 

“Y-Yeah.”

“Yes.”

“Is it that obvious?”

 

That all speak up at once.

 

“Well, just swim your best. Remember what Coach Kwon taught you and what we’ve done in practice. Don’t turn too early or late, and remember to have fun okay.” He ruffles up their hair because he can since he’s the only upperclassmen doing a backstroke event. 

 

They all try to comprehend his advice and send him a thumbs up before he walks off to the starting blocks. He’s in the first heat, which means he’s going to be swimming in the first group of swimmers. 

 

“Wonwoo!” A voice calls, and he spot a head of red hair flouncing in the distance. He’s waving at him from the other side of the pool, beckoning the other to come over to him, like he’s not about to an event. 

 

_ “You come to me idiot!”  _ He mouths while rolling his eyes. Soonyoung visibly sighs and gets up from his seat next to the rest of the medical staff. 

 

“You called?” Wonwoo asks while doing his last bouts of stretching. They haven’t been called by officials, who are somewhere perched on a high stand that looks like a very big watchtower, probably smoothing out the last details of the event. Surprisingly, the weather is moderate with rays of sun seeping through the clouds. They’re outdoors today. Travelling all the way to the coast to go to a meet makes it feel that much more important, valuable, and something that Wonwoo can’t afford to mess up. 

 

“You should stretch like I told you. I’m a professional in training, you know?” Soonyoung, soothes since he knows Wonwoo is more nervous than usual. He  _ did  _ tell him he hasn’t gotten nervous in a while, but this is a big meet, and  _ fuck him _ if he wants to do good in front of his best friend he hasn’t seen in two years. It makes him as jittery as his fourteen self. 

 

“A college student isn’t very credib—” He’s on his back, letting Soonyoung take him through passive , partner stretches when he takes in a harsh breath. The smirk on his face makes Wonwoo want to pull him down and…shit. 

 

“Trying to make me pull a muscle before I swim is sabotage isn’t it Soonyoung? Here I thought you loved me.” Wonwoo referred to the few seconds ago he stretched his hamstring a hair too far. Soonyoung was bubbling with laughter in a second trying to get out the words  _ you wished I loved you _ with the faituage of laughter showing on his face. 

 

A whistle sounded in their near radius which let Soonyoung know he needed to be far away from the starting blocks if he didn’t want to get kicked out of the arena. 

 

They’d have a couple minutes to get their thoughts together. To prepare. It was just a straight and back. 50 meters. Wonwoo has done a lot more in his life. He’s grown so much in these eight years. Now, it’s time to show it. His hands traveled to the top of his head, making sure his cap was on snuggly, and felt the goggles resting there. His mind should’ve been focused on the race—water in front of him—but his team, his family, was all he could think about. His parents back at home. 

 

“Let’s go Jeon! Beat their asses!” A voice cut through the silence. 

 

He stifled a laugh. Jesus, Soonyoung, this is a family friendly event. 

 

“Swimmers to your mark.”  _ You really are stupid. Screaming out like that. Cheering for me like that.  _ Wonwoo thought as he jumped, body straight, into the water before coming up a second later. 

 

“Set.” He brought his body as close to itself as possible, a little uncomfortable, like it was supposed to. His hands gripped the handles tightly, trying to push the feelings away from his head for a moment. 

 

“Go!” 

  
  


Wonwoo couldn’t register anything except for his heart beat and the fact that his limbs were already moving. His pulse was going at a rocket pace from the start once he pushed off the wall and into underwater, trying to keep his dolphin form to get a good start ahead of the swimmers. Once he broke surface he immediately made sure to breathe, and keep breathing, while working his arms to break through the water and propel him down the strait. 

 

He was steady, going fast until the turn. His eyes caught sight of the marker too late, almost making him crash into the wall, but it gladly just slowed him down a fraction. Now instead of silence, he heard splashing of other swimmers around him. He didn’t know if they were ahead or behind, but  _ like hell _ he was going to let someone beat him.  _ Like hell  _ was he going to let someone take his spot on the podium. His breaths became deeper as he pushed deeper, trying to find the energy to go faster, kick faster, and touch the wall before anyone else could. 

 

Once his hand graced the wall, he tread water and leaned on the lane divider. One other boy, a few lanes down, had already finished, but he looked just as tired as Wonwoo like he hadn’t finished a while ago. He wouldn’t know who finished first until the results came out. 

 

As he pulled himself out of the water, going back to their school’s camp in the bleachers, he prepared himself to watch the second heat. 

 

“I’m so proud of you~” Soonyoung dropped a towel on his head and rubbed once Soonyoung was done wrapping a swimmer’s shoulder with ice and Wonwoo had came back from talking to Coach. She had nothing more to offer other than focus and rest up for his two other events. As Wonwoo sat down, he waved to his former, retired coach, who probably lived close by and was talking to his teammates. 

 

“Don’t lie. I’m waiting for you to criticize me.” Wonwoo, sounding muffled by the towel, pushed it off instantly now that his hair was dry. Soonyoung gave him a look before sitting down beside him.

 

“Oh? You mean the turn? Yeah well, your head is in the clouds at the weirdest times. And you stayed underwater too long after. Also you kept moving from—“ 

 

“Okay! I get it!” Wonwoo pushed him away, already a little upset at how things went. If he didn’t place, then he wouldn’t be able to move on. Of course he didn’t mind the individual relay, even though it was a piece of work, and he loved swimming the relay with his friends, but backstroke was where he shined. It’s his event alone. This was the sad, self validation that sat in Wonwoo’s mind, proving to himself that he’s actually good, and doesn’t need to be on a relay just to swim it. 

 

_ “Stop complaining, you already know you won.”  _ Soonyoung whispered, and pulled his towel, which was resting loosely around his neck. This way, only Wonwoo would be able to hear, and not the other backstroke swimmers who were making their way back as they spoke. 

 

_ “How do you know that?”  _ Wonwoo looked down at him in disbelief, still a bit taken aback by the proximity. 

 

_ “Because I know. You did good okay?”  _ He patted his cheek with affection before pushing him back. Wonwoo, astounded, felt a little more confident. Maybe Soonyoung saw something in the way he swam that he didn’t feel. He’d trust his friend’s judgment like he always did.

  
  


☀️

 

Remind Wonwoo to never trust Soonyoung’s judgement ever again. Or maybe always trust it. He's debating. 

 

Sure, he has a good eye when it comes to swimming. He basically predicted and whispered to Wonwoo who was going to move on from the Qualifying rounds, but it’s still a shock how he left his meet with three medals. He’d placed in all three events. He was moving on in  _ every event.  _

 

Soonyoung had every right to say  _ I told you so _ when it came to Wonwoo doubting himself, but his other areas of expertise were lacking. How did he convince the entire team, Jihoon included, that going drinking  to celebrate would be a great idea? 

 

Wonwoo’s head is buzzing and body warm, but he’s not drunk. He’s keeping an eye on things since Jihoon has officially left his post as  _ non _ -manager for the night. As soon as he gave in to Jun’s qualms and sat on his lap  _ in public _ , he knew he had too much alcohol in his system to make normal, Jihoon  oriented decisions. He hopes no one takes a picture, or they’d be a deadman. He hears screams, arguments, and stops little pushes that could escalate into petty fights. He is  _ not  _ paying the fees for damaged property or bailing someone out of jail.

 

Now, he’s watching Jihoon play with his boyfriend’s three medals around his neck ( _ yes they all went straight from the dorms to here. they didn’t even change _ ). Suddenly, Wonwoo feels the sappy need to congratulate his dearest friend Junhui on his sweep today. All first place in the 100 meter and 200 meter butterfly as well as their relay. Wonwoo considers his events to be long distance swimming that he could never,  _ ever  _ compete in. 

 

“Wonwoo! Great job today dude!” Jun, who is questionably intoxicated, smiles at approaching Wonwoo. Slowly, Jihoon’s face turns from curiosity to excitement. 

 

“‘Missed you so much!” Jihoon slaps at his chest and it surprisingly hurts for someone who participates in no physical activity. 

 

“You too Jun. We’ve came a long way since when we were freshman.” They laughed, probably thinking back to when they were scared and shaking for their first college meet. Now, they’re on the top of their game. 

 

“Where’s Soonyoung?” Jihoon thinks out loud. Lately, it’s been the four of them hanging them out, so it feels empty with just the three now. Wonwoo’s head whips around, trying to spot the bright red hair, but he doesn’t—

 

_ “Boo!”  _ Soonyoung’s laughing is heard from directly behind him as he jumps from his seat. Luckily, he still has enough sobriety to catch himself from falling. Before he can pinch his sides, Soonyoung is leaping and latching onto his back. 

 

“Wonwoo…let’s go home. I wanna go to bed.” He complains, and Wonwoo briefly wonders why he doesn’t just go by himself. He has keys. But then, walking back by yourself is dangerous. Yes, obviously he needs Wonwoo for safety reasons. 

 

Wonwoo, being the whipped dumbass that he is, can’t say no. 

 

Scanning the area of the restaurant, seeing everyone enjoying themselves even though they all are variations of drunken messes, makes him not want to admit…Soonyoung’s judgment is pretty damn good when it comes to having fun. Even if it can be a little messy. He doesn’t want to trust it at times, but it’s never wrong. 

 

“Everyone, we’re leaving. Clean up your messes. And sober up before you walk back home.” Wonwoo calls out before walking out the door with Soonyoung at his side. His two other best friends had given him a look that he tried to ignore.  _ No _ , we are just going home to sleep assholes. 

  
  


“Aw that’s sweet. The captain watching over his little underclassmen.” He teased Wonwoo as they started on the brisk walk to their apartment. It may have been a nice day on the coast, but back home, it’s getting cold now that winter is here. 

 

“Well, you remember when we were captains. Everyone looked up to us.” Wonwoo dwelled a bit on their co-captain memories. Soonyoung always tried to make it fun, having parties, while Wonwoo thought extra rest was the only reward they all needed. 

 

Their steps synced together somehow even though Wonwoo’s legs were longer and Soonyoung’s stride shorter. The night chill breezed by.

 

“You remember when we were fourteen and we’d have those sleepovers and I was too scared to walk downstairs in the dark?” Soonyoung, eyes glossy from the trace amounts of  alcohol in his system, glanced up at Wonwoo with his hands tucked underneath his arms to keep warm. 

 

“And you didn’t want to wake up your parents so you made me hold your hand the whole way down the stairs? Yes. Why?” Wonwoo smiled. Even then, Soonyoung was a person full of surprises. He could be so strong one second, and then vulnerable the next. 

 

“I don’t know. I just wanted to hold your hand, but I’m not scared or anything.” Soonyoung’s voice sounded small which wasn’t good for Wonwoo’s heart. What the hell? His breath catches in his throat and sobers him up all at once. Wonwoo’s hand is tugging at the other’s arm so he can release his own hands. 

 

He finds the other’s hand, a bit smaller than his own so it fits well in his. Its cold which makes Wonwoo want to grip even tighter to make it warm. 

 

“Are you drunk Soonie?” Wonwoo asked, genuinely and jokingly which made the other laugh in return. Soonyoung, obviously blushing, tried to hide his face from Wonwoo, but he can’t. He’s already shoving his face in his line of sight annoyingly so he can see his face glowing bright red. 

 

“Maybe. I don’t know. Shut up.” He squeezed Wonwoo’s hand. As they entered the dorm hall. It was the weekend, so people were in the main room watching movies and playing around. They headed straight for the stairs.

 

“You’re not drunk Kwon. You just like me.” Wonwoo says almost in a whisper, but in the quiet of their stairwell, it falls loud on Soonyoung’s ears. He whips his head around, a step above Wonwoo, fast with wide eyes and red ears before prying his hand away.

 

“I don’t. Go away. I’m tired.” He runs up the rest of the stairs easily but Wonwoo catches him right before he could open the door. The key was even in the lock! Soonyoung curses Wonwoo and his long ass legs. 

 

“Bullshit. You like me.” Wonwoo doesn’t know where this boldness is coming from, but alcohol does like to linger in your system hours after. Soonyoung isn’t blurry. He’s well aware of how he turned Soonyoung around to push him against the wall. He’s well aware how compromising this looks if anyone were to see them.

 

He’s keenly aware of Soonyoung though. Him and his small, yet amazing figure (that he didn’t want to lose just because he stopped swimming—Wonwoo asked), his disheveled, bright hair that was messed up from the night wind and running from Wonwoo, his eyes, which were trying to escape his gaze, and his lips.  _ Those lips.  _ The very lips that were plump and shining because a tongue just ran over them. They had been the bane of Wonwoo’s existence towards the end of his teenage years since he had to force himself not to stare. 

 

“So what if I like you? You won’t do anything about it.” Soonyoung’s attitude shifted like day to night. Just a second ago, he was shy and pliant caged in between Wonwoo, but now he’s got a fire in his eyes. It’s like he’s challenging Wonwoo to do something about it which has the taller narrowing his eyes at him silently. 

 

“You won’t Wonwoo. You won’t  _ kiss _ me. You couldn’t even back in high school when we both wanted—” 

 

Soonyoung talks too much. He always has. 

 

With another glance to his lips, Wonwoo decides he’s going to do something about the god awful hammering in his chest that Soonyoung is causing. A hand move to the other’s waist to pull him forward, causing the clever words to get stuck in his throat. One second Wonwoo, is admiring him. The pretty curve of his cheeks and the slant of his eyes and the next he’s leaning in, thumb grazing his burning ears as he tilts his chin forward. Soonyoung is dragging his hands up Wonwoo’s chest to the nape of his neck as their lips brush. It’s the barest amount before Wonwoo is pulling away. 

 

“Was that me doing something about it?” He laughs back with a smile before Soonyoung tugs at the short hairs that sit at the back of his neck to pull him back in. Their lips fit together swimmingly added a bit more pressure, almost making Soonyoung lightheaded. 

 

“That was nothing. Stop stealing kisses because you like me.” Soonyoung bit his bottom lip which was glistening and red. He moved to go unlock the door with Wonwoo’s arms draped over his shoulders. His neck tickled at the soft sensation of lips ghosting over his skin. 

 

It shouldn’t have taken him so long, but his hands were shaking. Soonyoung blames Wonwoo and his dizzying effect. 

 

_ “Stop lying Soonyoung. You like me so much more. Don't act like you didn't fuck up my times.”  _ Wonwoo whispered into his red hot ear, almost making him drop the keys, as he pushed open the door. 

 

He had the audacity to laugh.

  
  


“Shut up Wonwoo!” Soonyoung shouted, probably waking up the entire floor, before slamming the door shut once they were both inside. Not a second later, he found himself in Wonwoo’s arms again. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0 so did soonyoung ever fuck up his times? will we ever know? lmao i will.  
> i hope y'all liked this since it's my first soonwoo work :'-)  
> my twitterz are [here](https://twitter.com/kwanology) & [there](https://twitter.com/simigang) so come say hi!


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